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Abortion - Your Choice?
By Debbie Wilson - Added 10th of July 2009SO YOU WANT TO HAVE AN ABORTION?
The majority of people in Britain today have some knowledge and understanding of abortion and what it involves. Abortion whether we personally believe it to be right or not is a sensitive and emotive subject. However being aware that a situation exists does not always mean it is comfortable to discuss. Abortion is one such subject that might get some air time in a documentary on TV or even be portrayed as a story line in one of the long running weekly dramas, but in every day life abortion is often swept under the carpet and never talked about.
Why is this I wonder?
Let's go on a journey together that I hope will inform you along the way, enable you to break free from the pressure to conform and will lead instead to a true freedom of choice, an empowerment of self, a move beyond the hormonal changes and opinions of others, to the very heart of the decision making process.
Every journey has a beginning and an end, a starting point and a destination, along the way there are signposts pointing to other places, other destinations, other possible paths, with other possible outcomes. It would be fair to say that your journey began with your pregnancy and you may be feeling your signpost is more like a crossroads pointing you in several different directions at once.
You may decide to take the pathway that leads to parenting OR the pathway that leads to abortion OR the pathway that leads to adoption. Whichever path you take from now on the one reality you have to face is that you cannot go backwards to the time before you were pregnant. To try and live in denial (a sense that this situation is not real and not really happening to you) will prevent you from making decisions and may even limit your options even more because of the time limits involved.
So lets explore the abortion pathway... In order to arrive at a decision about whether abortion is the right path for you to take, you first have to know something about the path you are about to embark on.
Abortion and the Law
In British society today the view is held by most people that ending a person's life is wrong and rules have been put in place within our society for our protection, which punish those who break this law. However the laws relating to murder, manslaughter, or assisted suicide do not apply when considering abortion because in 1967 British law was changed which made it legal for a woman to have an abortion as long as certain conditions were followed. This law has for the last 40 years remained relatively unchanged...
1) Subject to the provisions of this section, a person shall not be guilty of an offence under the law relating to abortion when a pregnancy is terminated by a registered medical practitioner if two registered medical practitioners are of the opinion, formed in good faith-
a) that the pregnancy has not exceeded its twenty-fourth week and that the continuance of the pregnancy would involve risk, greater than if the pregnancy were terminated, of injury to the physical or mental health of the pregnant woman or any existing children of her family; or
(b) that the termination is necessary to prevent grave permanent injury to the physical or mental health of the pregnant woman; or
(c) that the continuance of the pregnancy would involve risk to the life of the pregnant woman, greater than if the pregnancy were terminated; or
(d) that there is a substantial risk that if the child were born it would suffer from such physical or mental abnormalities as to be seriously handicapped.
In order for abortion to be legal the law specifically states that the consent of two registered medical practitioners must be obtained, the procedure carried out by a registered medical practitioner and that the pregnancy is less than 24 weeks unless foetal abnormality is detected (babies are deemed viable beyond 24 weeks - able to survive outside the womb). Legalising abortion therefore has helped to reduce the numbers of women experiencing post-operative complications, infection and haemorrhaging, as the medical/surgical conditions under which they are now carried out have vastly improved.
Statistics show that over 195,000 abortions were carried out in England and Wales in 2008.* The decision to end a pregnancy would therefore seem to be one that is not unusual. However each woman's situation is unique and sometimes complex which may cause her to feel isolated, alone, afraid and confused. Knowing abortion is an option may add to her pressures rather than making the decision making process easier.
Let me give you a few examples...
Imagine you are a young teenager being brought up in a family where abortion is viewed as wrong. You feel lonely and afraid at the thought of having a baby and not old enough to cope with the responsibilities of being a parent yet. You are afraid of how your family might treat you if you have an abortion and feel you have no choice but to do what they say. You feel your only decision is to continue the pregnancy and keep the baby even though you don't feel ready or mature enough to start a family.
Or ... Imagine you are an older married woman who already has grown up children. You have never agreed with abortion as an option yet having a baby later in life especially now that your other children have left home seems too overwhelming to cope with on your own. You look for support from your husband but instead of helping you he forces an ultimatum on you to have an abortion or he is leaving. Going against what you believe to be right would seem to be your only option for the sake of saving your marriage.
Or ... Imagine you are an unmarried woman who comes from a highly moral or religious family. Your family's values, culture and beliefs have an enormous influence on the way you live your life. However the pressure to conform and live within these boundaries is suffocating you and causes you to live a secret life. Finding yourself unexpectedly pregnant your choices are to have an abortion in secret whether you want to or not, or continue the pregnancy and take the risk of being abandoned and cast out by your family because of the shame your pregnancy would bring to them.
Or ... Imagine you are the woman of a couple who have been trying to have a baby for years. You are overjoyed to find yourself pregnant after so long and start to make plans for the arrival of your new baby, decorating the nursery and buying equipment. Then you find out from a routine ultrasound scan that your baby has an abnormality that will need continuous monitoring and care well beyond the childhood years. You are in shock at this news especially as you are already 24 weeks pregnant and have felt the baby move. You have been told that a late abortion (after 24 weeks) is a very real option causing you confusion and panic as you question whether abortion would be best for all concerned, yet also thinking this may be your one and only chance to have a child.
Or ... Imagine you are a young woman who has moved away from home for the first time to start university. You have planned your career path and have set yourself goals to achieve. You have never considered abortion to be the right option because you have strong beliefs that you should take responsibility for your own actions. However it seems the people around you, T.V. programmes and every magazine you read seem to be constantly reminding you that this pregnancy is a “mistake” and an “inconvenience” and something you can “get fixed”. You are torn between continuing the pregnancy, ending your career, forfeiting your goals and going against what you believe to be right. Being so far from home you feel lonely, confused and stressed, with a sense that the “voices” around you are so much louder and more persuasive than your own inner voice.
As we can see from these examples the decision making process is a complex one as it not only depends on your view of abortion, but also on the opinions of those around you, the circumstances you find yourself in and the amount of support available to you as you attempt to make the pregnancy decision that is right for you.
It surely comes as no surprise then, that finding it difficult to talk openly about abortion is closely linked with shame and guilt. Whether the guilt is imposed on you by others or is something you feel within yourself, a “wall of (emotional) denial” begins to be built that separates you from your true feelings. This emotional barrier then allows you to move away from your feelings about whether abortion is right or not, to one that is based purely on circumstances, and where your logic and reasoning take over the decision making process.
This would appear to be a good way of dealing with this difficult situation, however basing your decision on denial of your true feelings will eventually catch up with you and may cause the guilt feelings to return, along with other feelings such as despair, depression, anger and regret.
Let’s stop at this crossroads for a while and take time to consider what you have read so far and what your true feelings are saying to you. You may be able to relate to one or more of the examples above, you may have already recognised signs within yourself of emotional denial or you may find that you are more confused than ever as your emotions swing backwards and forwards.
At this point it may be good to ASK yourself some questions for example...
Do I believe abortion to be
- Only ok if a woman has been raped or abused?
- Not ok in any situation?
- Ok if the woman has the support of others and understands what she is doing?
- Only ok in situations where the woman is unable to make her own decisions?
- Ok for every woman?
- My only option?
- A form of contraception?
At what stage of my pregnancy (if any) would I consider abortion to no longer be an option?
How might an abortion affect me emotionally
a) now?
b) in one years time?
c) if I want to have a child later in life?
You may be able to think of many more questions that if answered as honestly as possible can help to eliminate some of your fears and confusion and aid you in remaining true to yourself and your beliefs. Another way of looking at your opinions and the true beliefs you hold is to consider your own history and the events in your life that have led you to the beliefs you hold today.
Then and now – your personal history
Try if you can to think back to a time before you were pregnant.
What was your view of abortion BEFORE you became pregnant?
Do you remember having any strong opinions about abortion when you were growing up?
What was your view of abortion then?
Has your view changed because you are unexpectedly pregnant now?
Were you able to talk openly with your parents, partner, friends about different aspects of sexual health?
Were you fearful of expressing your views because they were very different from those of the people around you?
Do you know anyone in your family or close circle of friends who has had an abortion?
What would you like to ask them?
What stops you from asking?
By establishing beliefs that are truly your own you will gain an inner strength that enables you to be free to choose the option that is right for you. Remaining true to yourself is therefore a vital part of the decision making process as it allows you to move beyond the immediate situation to a place of informed choice and can help you to filter out the "voices" of others who may be pressuring you in a different direction. Basing your thoughts, ideas, emotions and opinions therefore on what you truly believe to be right for you at the time of making the decision will enable you to remain strong, can aid the recovery process and may even help to prevent mental health concerns in the future that can be linked with abortion and post abortion trauma.
AND FINALLY
The responsibility to end a pregnancy by abortion is solely the woman's decision. No one else no matter how persuasive, logical, or manipulative their comments may seem, can sign the consent form for an abortion procedure to go ahead. Therefore being 100% certain that you have explored every avenue, spoken to everyone you can, and got as much information as possible about your choices, is vital to the decision making process, as the decision once made is non reversible.
Living with the reality of abortion as a choice may not be as easy as it would first appear as the relief of "getting back to normal" is often short lived as the emotional and behavioural changes that follow an abortion are for some women severe and frightening.
The emotional consequences of an abortion can lead to what's known as Post Abortion Syndrome (PAS) where severe depression, obsession with babies and young children, guilt, shame, low self worth, anger, regret, unforgiveness of self and others, and in extreme cases hallucinations and psychotic episodes leading to admittance into hospital may occur.
Other signs to be aware of as a result of an emotional trauma like abortion are behavioural changes such as self-harming, promiscuity, sexual risk taking, drug taking, eating disorders, binge drinking and alcoholism.
It is not possible to know who will be affected by (PAS) as the symptoms vary from person to person and the severity of the emotional and behavioural changes will be different for each person. If you are in any doubt about whether abortion is the right choice for you seek help and professional advice.
If you have any doubts, concerns, or questions or if you would like to comment on this article please contact us in confidence on 024 7660 3444 we are here to help.